It’s official: kindness is good for your health.

We have known for some time that simple acts of kindness can significantly improve our mood, sometimes for days.

But kindness can also increase immune function, help prevent heart disease and slow down the aging process, according to recent studies.

While there are all sorts of ways of extending kindness, it is something that emerges naturally in meditation. As the mind becomes still, the heart opens.

On a purely physiological level meditation triggers the release of feel good chemicals in the brain, including oxytocin – the same chemical that is involved in the bonding of a mother to her child, and a lover to his or her beloved.

Take a Moment to Reflect

When we disengage from the monkey mind’s constant chatter, we create a space that allows us to choose how to respond to situations, rather than just react.

For example, you may feel irritated about being interrupted by yet another telephone sales call.  But if you take a moment to reflect that the person on the other end of the line is a human being trying to make a living the best way they can, the call might still annoy you but your attitude towards the person will shift.

Instead of being rude, you may choose to respond with a firm, but gentle, ‘no thank you’. This not only saves you the stress that comes with getting upset it is also a kinder response that helps the person on the other end of the phone get on with their job and life with less distress.

The key to this practise is to notice your reactions – your thoughts and feelings – without becoming caught up in them. Just let them be there. The less you struggle, the more likely they will just dissipate on their own.

Kindness Begins With You

Kindness is not something you have to work at or strive for in meditation; the emergence of kindness and compassion is something that happens when you allow yourself to just be.

Just sitting with the breath is one way to allow kindness to emerge, but there are also specific practises that can help us cultivate an attitude of kindness. These practises are called ‘metta’ or loving kindness meditations.

How to Practise Loving Kindness Meditation

• When practising loving kindness meditation first connect with the breath until the mind becomes still. Don’t try to control the breath, just breath naturally, noticing the air coming in and going out.
  
  
• When you are calm imagine someone who has been kind to you – a teacher, or friend or colleague. It could be a real person or a figment of your imagination, a spiritual leader or teacher, or even a much loved pet. Picture this person or animal in your mind and then let go of the story. Focus your attention in your heart area for a few minutes.
  
  
• When you feel ready simply allow this feeling to expand to include your loved ones, then acquaintances and then strangers, the whole earth and finally the universe.

Feeling Connected

Connecting with the breath and the heart makes us feel more connected within ourselves - more in tune with our own heart and mind. We become more aware of the beauty both within and without. We learn to accept ourselves more and judge ourselves less. We become more peaceful with the people around us.

As we let go of things that might otherwise have stressed us out or upset us, we have more energy to extend in positive ways.

Practising with a teacher or group is the best way to learn this sort of meditation.