I believe that meaning in our lives emerges from our emotional and experiential worlds-if only we could make sense of them!
SERVICES
Welcome
Our inner and outer world, our minds and our bodies are connected in what we sometimes experience as a mystical union. Uncanny experiences of the external world in which we enact our lives seem to connect with our inner, unarticulated experience and vice-versa. For example, if we believe we are unworthy then we manifest events and people in our external lives which reinforce this belief.
Our bodies speak of the emotional issues they hold and of the conflicts and tensions between aspects of ourselves. We are multiple multiplicities, many voices in harmony or discord. All too often discordant aspects of ourselves, often an introjected aspect from significant abusive figures in our lives, cause us distress. This can be in the form of depression, low self-esteem or self worth. Sometimes this is so distressing that some people consider suicide. Many people end up with significant existential issues or crises where they question their way of being in the world and desperately strive for meaning. Sexual abuse, physical or emotional abuse, and destructive relationships often play out in our lives long after the abuser has left. Yet, they always leave a poisonous part of themselves behind.
Many people have a spiritual and transpersonal enquiry about their place in the grander scheme of life yet, have a fragmented sense of other consciousness. We will use the SPEAKeasy process of reconstructive dialogues between discordant aspects of ourselves to help you return to harmony and to the experience of being greater than the sum of your parts. At its most essential, I am humbly offering a piece of me in a therapeutic relationship with you, in the hope that you will find peace, contentment in your spiritual, personal, social and physical worlds.
About me
Who Am I?
I have come from a very different background to a place in my life where I am interested in exploring my own human condition and my relationship with the worlds of spirit, person, society and relationship, and the physical. In each of these worlds, I have become very interested in who I am, how do I come to be moment-by-moment, what is it like to be me, me in relationship with others and with 'them' (society at large).
My name is Stan. I have lived several lives. I have been a naval officer, serving in the Royal Australian Navy, an engineer, a consultant, a (not very successful), creative writer, a father, stepfather and more recently, a counsellor and psychotherapist. My latest life as a counsellor and psychotherapist provides me with the tools to help me change the way I construct my lived experience.
What are my Qualifications?
I have a Master of Counselling and Human services from Latrobe University, majoring in person-centred and emotion-focused psychotherapy (EFT)
I am a member of the Counselling and Psychotherapy Association of Victoria (CAPAV),
I am listed on the Australian Register of Counsellors and Psychotherapists (ARCAP)
I am a member of the Australian Counselling Association (ACA)
I have been a psychodrama facilitator (an action-oriented approach to exploring the condition of life)
Why use me?
This is a generalisation. However, a psychiatrist will tell you there is something wrong with your brain , which medication can treat, a psychologist will tell you there is something wrong with your thinking, for which they can teach you to think properly, and a social worker will deal with the context in which you live. The government can be a third party in the the therapy room if any of these experts obtain MEDICARE rebates. MEDICARE will often dictate the nature of 'treatment' by conducting audits based on cost-benefit analyses-that you ultimately pay for!
In contrast, engaging with me is undertaking a moral, philosophical and spiritual endeavour in the context of a special therapeutic relationship based on humanistic principles. I am not 'treating' you for a 'problem' or its context, nor do you need me as an expert tell you what you should do differently. This is because you are your own undiscovered expert that I can help you discover!
This means that you will not have a mental health record or a diagnosed mental illness and there may not be any employment consequences, depending on the type of medical questionnaire you are required to complete for your work or for a new work application. You do not need to see your general practitioner to obtain a referral to see me.
I am very interested in respectfully, and genuinely learning about your world. Within a safe, therapeutic relationship where you are the expert, you will be able to develop new perspectives on your situation and reconstruct and transform how you experience yourself and your life by integrating new information from aspects of herself of which you were previously unaware. There are no 'third parties', just you and me and anyone else whom you wish to invite.
How do I address my life issues?
The process we will use is based on a number of philosophical and psychotherapeutic schools, including existential philosophy, person-centred therapy, and emotion focused therapy (EFT). These processes value and validate the individual, the relationship, and your individual process. These approaches also reflect my own experience that we are even more powerful when the intellect of the mind, and emotion entrained in our bodies join as a team.
To harmonise and transform our inner self, and our outer self we need to undertake personal growth, and to journey both inwards and outwards. The SPEAKeasy process of reconstructive dialogues between intellect and experiential aspects will enable you to meet and transform aspects of yourself in your spiritual, personal, social and physical worlds.
Parental Alienation- What Can I Do?
I have first hand experience of the process by which one parent deliberately ruptures the relationship and destroys the loving bond between their child and the other parent, having lost contact with one of my children who sided with my ex-partner. This can happen when the process of ending a relationship becomes entrenched in conflict or after a relationship ends both parents do not form a different relationship focused on the children.
I suggest that this is one of the most serious forms of child abuse yet goes largely un-recognised in Australia as a form of abuse. As far as I can tell, this process by which a loving bond between parent and child is ruptured by another (supposedly loving) parent is under-researched and under-reported. It can also be fatal to children because sometimes the alienating parent will kill their child to hurt their ex-partner. It can cause serious emotional issues for children who grow up without a significant parent in their lives, a parent who has been demonised for them by the other parent and who they demonise because their relationship with the alienating parent depends upon making the other, alienating parent a demon. There is often no justification for this so false accusations are sometimes used to create fabricated grounds.
Insufficient research has been done in Australia to define extreme alignment (parental alienation) and to identify its effects on children.
In Australia, the term extreme alignment is sometimes used to describe this process. It does not do it justice and I suggest that it is an attempt to downplay the abusive aspect of this behaviour and to create a politically acceptable term. Parents who seek to destroy the loving bond between a child and the other parent need professional help because they are so focused on their ex-partner they do not take into account the developmental needs of their children. Legal processes do not readily identify this process and often mistakenly believe that it is in the best interest of the child to lose one parent from their lives rather than deal with the conflict which leads to this situation. Legal and allied social/family services inadvertently collude with this abuse by refusing to intervene or by making such interventions emotionally and practically prohibitive. They end up validating the behaviour of the alienating parent rather than recognising that alienation or extreme alignment is more harmful to children than any relationship conflict.
Check out my article at : Dads in Distress (DIDS)
How do I identify Extreme Alignment AKA PAS (Parental Alienation Syndrome)?
What could happen to my child if he or she is alienated against me?
What can I do if my child is alienated against me?
Get my presentation on How to get your Children Back- PDF
The Greeks documented all forms of human frailty in their myths and gods. Parental alienation is captured in the story of Medea, who kills her children to punish her errant husband, Jason. Sometimes this process is called the 'Medea complex'. However, the act of severing the bond between child and parent is unfortunately undertaken by both men and women. In the U.S it is sometimes called Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) and it is being considered for inclusion as a diagnosed mental illness in the 5th edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM V) used by mental health professionals to assess and diagnose mental illness.
QUALIFICATION DETAILS
Counselling, Psychotherapy
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