Women, Couples, & Children's Psychotherapy & Counselling Services
Freely we give, freely we receive “TWO LISTENING EARS” my gift to you.
In today’s society of ever increasing isolation, pioneered by technology, I have found through my own experience countless women, men, and generations of families feeling alone, isolated, desperate to talk to someone, anyone, BUT too afraid to speak and NO-ONE there to just “LISTEN.”
This Month's Topic: Addictions.
SERVICES
Effective and Professional Counselling, Narrative Therapy, Psychotherapy and Life “listening”.
Specialising in:
• Counselling
• Couples Counselling
• Therapy
• Eating Disorders
• Infertility
• Relationships
• Addictions
• Codependency
• Trauma
• Depression
• Anxiety
• Life Coaching
• Personal
Today Karren-lee is an experienced counsellor and therapist who has over 18 years experience in the counselling and therapy fields for over 18 years.
Karren-Lee’s approach has a foundation in a passion and continued practice and study of Narrative therapy coupled with Psychodynamic therapy and other contemporary approaches (ie: solution-focussed; client-centred; family systems; CBT/REBT and existential – if/when required), which blend and compliment her modality and foundation of the concept of “Two Listening Ears.”
Your first session is 60 minutes, and sessions thereafter are 60 minutes.
Additional practice location in Murrumba Downs, North side of Brisbane and a mobile counselling service is available on request.
QUALIFICATION DETAILS
Karren-Lee Raymond | Psychotherapist
Bachelor of Behavioural Science Psychology - Honours (current)
Bachelor of Behavioural Science Psychology
Dip. Of Applied Science (counselling major)
Cert. 4 Counselling
Cert. 3 Counselling
Extensive training in narrative therapy with Professor Walter Bera,
(Kenwood Therapy Centre, Minneapolis)
Numerous training workshops in counselling and psychology fields.
FOR YOUR INFORMATION
TOPIC OF THE MONTH - ADDICTIONS
ADDICTION – WHO? WHAT? WHEN? HOW? WHY?
MAYBE: ALCOHOL; FOOD; DRUGS; GAMBLING; SEX; WORK; CODEPENDENCY; PEOPLE ETC.
THE LIST IS INFINITUM.
How does one KNOW that they MAY be an addict - or may just have had A dysfunctional upbringing/home.; AND if so “IS THERE ONE OR MULTIPLE ADDICTIONS?” – swapping the witch for the bitch as you see fit?
Addiction is likened to Cancer – meaning it is also a consumer of mind and body – and yet may be hidden under the disease of DENIAL. The addicted person is usually the last one to find out as they may not know, or tend to ignore it and the acronym Don’t Even No I Am Lying says it in a nutshell. Most people with alcohol/food/drugs or other problems are not “bad people trying to get good just sick people trying to get well.”
The addict may be classed as having many things and usually ‘practices’ the substance of choice not because they can but because they are compelled to, which appears as a global supreme paradox. Usually when they are ‘on the wagon/diet etc’ there is an uncontrollable craving to binge/drink/use; BUT when hung-over (by whatever substance) they pray in earnest to be sober/abstinent/clean/on a diet. This confirms the eerie paradox of the addict - that the only way to feel better is to “USE the substance of choice” - that which makes them feel worse.
In thinking about recovery from addiction I will share about two words for your contemplation - CHANGE – GROWTH!
THE THING WE NEED THE MOST IS OFTEN THE THING WE FEAR THE MOST -THAT IS CHANGE.
Mental and emotional development is inevitable all through stages of life. Without it, one may stagnate, become stuck and close minded. Practicing an addiction is an obvious way of becoming stuck or stagnating. In recovery if we don’t accept the change/growth process as being ON-GOING we won’t just stop and stagnate we will return to our addiction or take up a new one.
So why do some people “fail” and why do some people “change/grow” more easily than others. Two factors to be considered are:
FEAR:- OF THE UNKNOWN! (Will I be Okay?)
FAITH:- THE LACK OF IT! (believing that I too can recover from this affliction with a little help)
So much of our denial of the need to change stems from FEAR. A Fear of the UNKNOWN; a fear of FAILURE (once a loser always a loser); A fear of SUCCESS (what will I turn into? How/will I cope?)
A remedy for this FEAR is to couple WILLINGNESS, HONESTY, and OPEN-MINDEDNESS with FAITH> A faith in yourself and other people (why are you different from others and not worthy of working through your addiction and getting well) and a faith in turning to a recovery process/program (There are numerous paths which people have taken AND RECOVERED – which is your path????). Remember there is nothing to fear except fear itself.
Over the ages people have given some amazing reasons for not changing, such as:
“I’m too young – I’ve got more of my life to live yet”; “I’m too old and you can’t teach an old dog new tricks”; “better the devil you know then the devil you don’t”; and lastly “I’ve stopped ‘using my substance of choice’ that’s all I have to do . . . . . .. . . ”
NO CHANGE PROCESS IS EASY BUT IT IS DOABLE!!!!
In letting go of one’s old ideas/behaviours we are bound to experience discomfort/fear etc. Like the physical growing pains of our youth we experience emotional growing pains in early seeking of a solution to our problem/s. This is why numerous fail in the process because they don’t realise this is a NORMAL reaction. They may even go it alone and then return to their old behaviour/and medicate their discomfort.
THE PAIN WHICH IS EXPERIENCED IS NOT REALLY IN THE CHANGE BUT IN OUR RESISTENCE TO THAT CHANGE.
TODAY’S MESSAGE IS THERE IS HOPE – ALL WHO ARE WILLING TO TAKE A PEEK; LET THERE GUARD DOWN EVER SO SLIGHTLY AND SEE WHAT IS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FENCE – this is the beginning of change which keeps HOPE alive.
Walking with you as your change for peace, understanding and Hope begins;
Karren-Lee
“Two Listening Ears” Counselling services.
0409 368809
ARCHIVED TOPICS
INSIGHT INTO THE INFERTILITY ROLLERCOASTER
There are several emotional aspects to infertility. Couples may benefit from some information covering these emotional aspects – the common feelings that infertile couples share and ways to cope with the stress of infertility.
The following perspectives may shed some light to help and reassure couples that the way they may be feeling is quite normal; and may assist couples in finding a balance in their lives whilst pursuing the desire for a family.
The desire to have a child is suggested as maybe the strongest emotion that people experience, and infertility can be viewed as a life crisis as it causes couples immense emotional turmoil and distress.
Infertility equates to the loss of a dream of - and a future planned around children, and is perhaps the least acknowledged loss in our society as the couple often feel that they are left to grieve over this.
The following are the most frequent reactions infertile couples repeatedly experience. These reactions are in the majority, however not everyone will experience them.
SHOCK AND DISBELIEF
Initially most couples may respond with shock and disbelief if a diagnosis of infertility is confirmed. Shock usually lasts only a short period and can actually help one to adjust.
DENIAL
Some people may react by denying the problem rather than confronting it. This can cause unnecessary delays in persueing positive actions to treatment but temporary denial can also allow one to adapt to infertility at one’s own pace before rushing into a treatment program.
GUILT
People sometimes feel that infertility is a punishment for past actions, or feel guilty for depriving a fertile partner or parents the joy to have children or grandchildren. People often feel guilty because they may experience feelings of jealousy and/or envy of other people’s happiness and their ability to have children.
ANGER
Most couples will feel angry and frustrated which results from a sense that infertility and life is not fair. “Why me?” is a common question. This anger can be directed at the infertile spouse, family, friends, and health care providers. These feelings are normal, however when anger is internalized and not accepted for what it is, then it can be destructive and depression may result.
SADNESS, SENSE OF LOSS, EMPTINESS
There is often an overwhelming sense of loss, sadness and emptiness as one grieves for a long-awaited child; friends and relatives often do not understand and are unable to can empathise with the emotional impact of infertility.
DEPRESSION
Depression is a very common response and many couples can feel that life has no purpose thus causing a lack of motivation to make decisions in their professional and personal lives. They can lose perspective as well as enthusiasm for things in life that once were rewarding.
LOSS OF CONTROL AND ANXIETY
Many people describe feelings of loss of control, powerlessness, anxiety, fear and panic. These are normal feelings when undesirable situations happen unexpectedly to us. The inability to have a child can cause the realization that one is not in control of one’s life, and a sense of feeling “let down” by one’s body, causing a total disruption to plans and goals. Many couples cannot visualize a future without children and can be overwhelmed by feelings of fear and panic.
HOPELESSNESS AND DESPAIR
Feelings of discouragement, hopelessness, fear and despair often result from the roller coaster effects of infertility and treatment. One may feel hopeful at the beginning of treatment but despair if repeated cycles are not successful.
As with any life crisis, people will respond differently to infertility, and this depends on personality, life experiences, social and professional support systems and coping skills. It is important to realise therefore that one’s partner may be experiencing different emotions and the timing of one’s “downs” and “ups” will not always coincide.
IN RESPONSE TO THE ABOVE INFORMATION THERE ARE SPECIFIC WAYS TO HELP REDUCE THE STRESS OF INFERTILITY AND LESSENING ONE’S SENSE OF LOSS OF CONTROL.
These basic strategies may render solace when one is experiencing any of the above and may help in identifying and coping with other stresses in life as well.
ACTIVELY SEEK INFORMATION
It is important to actively seek as much information as you can about your condition and treatment. This will be provided by your consultant, nurse co-ordinators, caring professionals (counsellor/psychologist specialising in this area) library books, DVD’s, unit information sessions and newsletters from the professional/consultant you are working with. When well informed, a feeling of confidence and in control of oneself in this or any given situation is highlighted.
MENTAL PREPARATION
Mental preparation enables you to confront difficult situations. For example, anticipating the difficult questions from well-meaning friends or relatives assists in any responses. Preparing yourself on the day of the pregnancy test in the event of a negative outcome is recommended and can to help ease the disappointment – or alternatively if someone is on hand to share exciting news of a positive test, it can boost self-esteem.
SHARE FEELINGS (Communication is the key)
Share your feeling with your partner, close friends, relatives and/or professional support person. It is not likely that everyone will assume or know how you feel. Communicate with them and share what helps you and what makes you feel upset. It is important to acknowledge that sometimes you will feel unable to confront certain people and situations and that some days you will just want to feel sorry for yourself. Don’t fight this inclination; it will pass if you give yourself time.
IMPROVE SELF-ESTEEM
Try to find ways to improve your self esteem or feelings of self worth. Do those things that make you feel good about yourself. Remember what they were before you found you had infertility. Consider developing new areas of interest to balance the rounds of medical appointments.
Keep up with your friends and your social life, take time to do relaxing activities such as bush walks, picnics, a day at the beach, movies and even buying yourself some flowers.
Another suggestion is to do a course (TAFE or your local school Adult Education Classes), or become involved in voluntary work.
BALANCE IN LIFE
Achieve a proper balance in your life between work, infertility treatment, social activities, exercise and relaxation.
It is very important to maintain a healthy body with a good diet, adequate sleep, and regular exercise etc. as this helps promote a healthy mind and enables one to cope better with emotional stress.
CONSIDER SEEKING SOME COUNSELLING/SUPPORT IF:
You would like to talk over the impact of the infertility diagnosis. If you feel you are struggling with the treatment process, eg: You don’t “emotionally bounce back” as quickly as you would like to after a treatment cycle; or if life is getting you down; or you notice growing tension between yourself and your partner which persists.
You are becoming preoccupied with infertility and you can’t make decisions in other areas of your life.
You frequently feel sad, desperate and worthless; withdraw from social activities; experience excessive fatigue; and have difficulty in sleeping and loss of appetite. You are contemplating making the decision whether to cease treatment or continue on with another cycle.
“REMEMBER you are not alone in this journey. Reach out, ask for help and guidance and consider all your options. Take control back in a positive, constructive manner.”
“I am walking beside you with “Two Listening Ears” in your journey as we ride the infertility rollercoaster of “ups and downs” together.”
In all sincerity and kindness,
Karren-Lee Raymond.
(Two Listening Ears Counselling Services)
Having an understanding of infertility and IVF, wisdom has shown me when going through such procedures the one thing that I found was missing was someone to give me their “Two Listening Ears” with unconditional positive regard.
I envision my support to the client is to assist their journey as they travel along this path, aiding them to deal with their feelings, life experiences and perspectives in an empathetic environment.
My aspiration is to be beneficial to Consultants/professionals, medical caregivers, family and friends of the client’s. In offering “Two Listening Ears” the client is able to debrief their daily thinking and actions with myself – an outside professional support that the client can unload and then spend quality time with their loved ones; and secondly a similar scenario in the professional sphere - appointment times would be far greater utilised between the professional consultant and the client as support and debriefing is already taking place.
I am situated on the North Side of Brisbane (with two locations) and my hours are flexible with affordable rates – as I am quite aware of the time and money already spent to undertake this journey. I am also able to offer a mobile service if circumstances warrant. I look forward to being of service with “Two Listening Ears”
Two Listening Ears Counselling Services
mobile: 0409 368 809
MAP
Counselling, Energy Healing, Psychotherapy, Sound Therapy, Spiritual Healing
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