Have you ever wondered how it is that certain people seem to have everything they want, they sail through their careers, have incredible relationships, a circle of amazing friends, drive their dream car, live in their their dream home, travel when they choose, are spiritual, humble, confident, vibrant, energetic, they seem to constantly get what they want? Question is, are they really that different to you or I? If they can have that level of success, do you think maybe you and I could too? What are they doing that is different to what you are doing or moreso, what is it that they're doing that you are not?

The key difference lies in their mindset, how they think and that is a reflection in part of their values, beliefs, focus and attitude. By attitude, this isn’t solely about having a positive attitude, its about a real attitude and what I mean by that, its the real you coming to the surface, the person who you know you are at a core level, the person you are if you could really shine. It is the version of you living out your true potential and giving yourself permission to do want you really want to do and achieve what you really want to achieve in your own life. Lets explore what this all means a little further.

1 - KNOW YOUR OUTCOME – WHAT DO YOU WANT?

Stop for a moment and blatantly ask yourself this question. What is it that you want? Think about this further...what do you want to see, hear, feel, do, be, have in your life? What is your purpose? When you are 92 and looking back on your life, what is it that will absolutely stand out for you. Will it be love, laughter, guilt, accomplishments.? What is it so that when you are at the end and looking back you will have no regrets. In your minds eye, picture who you have become. How do you define yourself, what is your role? Are you a parent, a teacher, a humanitarian, a comedian, a leader, an environmentalist, an entrepreneur, politician? Define who you are now and who you will further become?

This is about realising the 'why' in doing what you are doing. What is the big picture for you? What do you want to see in your life that isn't currently there? This is about going to work not just in your life - on your life, choosing to live, think, act with volition. What do you wish your life to look like? How do you wish to live on a day to day basis? What will you be doing, seeing, hearing feeling to know you are truly living your life with purpose? How is that different to now? What is missing ?

There are so many people who go about their lives just getting whatever turns up, taking whatever comes along...I remember talking to a friend and asking her 'what are you going to be doing in the year ahead' and she said, 'I don’t know, whatever'. As a coach, I found that really interesting, quite surprising yet so many people spend more time and effort in planning their weekend or their next getaway then they do on planning their lives.

Now, thats OK for some, but for those of you who truly want to live your life on purpose, the first thing you've got to know, define or be curious about is what do you want. Explore this further now, this can be about your lifelong dreams, your goals, what you absolutely have a passion for. What lives in your heart? What is the one thing that if you had it, you would have happiness and success at a core level?

By knowing this and keeping it in sight, it works as does a compass, guiding you through so that you are making choices, actions, decisions that move you closer to your goal. You simply must figure out what it is you want in your life, not just what you want ultimately when you get to the end and you're looking back, what do you want moment to moment, day by day to experience.

Next is, is it worth doing? Is whatever you are doing, whether you are with friends, your family, in your career, your health, wherever you are placing your energy, is it worth doing? Ask yourself, what is my outcome? What is it that I am looking to achieve out of this situation and is it moving me closer to my goals?

So the first principle of happiness and success is to know your outcome, be really clear on it so no matter what situation youre in, no matter how challenging it is, you have the ability to shift your focus to the outcome you want. You can apply this information in all areas of your life, in your career, in business, in sales, relationships, in your health, whatever you are doing ask yourself, 'ok so what is the outcome I am truly looking for?' By shifting your focus to the solution, you will get more answers, choices, opportunities, ways of moving forward.

2 - BE FLEXIBLE IN YOUR BEHAVIOUR to do things differently.

The more prepared you are to think and act differently, the more opportunities will come your way, the more choices you will have. This is about having sensory acuity, a heightened self awareness to recognise whether what you are doing is effective or not and by effective meaning 'is it moving you closer to what you want, is it producing the results you want?

This is where you have to step up a notch, learn to pay attention to your actions vs your results , because if you're not being effective and you keep on doing the same thing, its pretty much to quote Einstein, the definition of insanity, to continually do the same thing over and over and expect to get a different outcome. To get a different outcome you've gotta be willing to go with a different approach.

Can you think of someone you know, who maybe for years even decades has done the same thing over and over, has been stuck in the same job, stuck in the same relationship, is always negative? They may have the sensory acuity to know its not working, its not how they want it to be, yet are not prepared to have flexibility in their behaviour to create the change they want to see. You've got to be willing to build the muscle around your behaviours, ask yourself - 'How can I behave differently to influence the results I'm getting?' A rigid person will look at how other people or the world should change, a flexible person will think about how they themselves can change in order to bring about that change. To create change, be the change.

3 - CAUSE VS EFFECT - Taking responsibility for the results you are getting

How do you live your life, at cause or at effect? Are you in the drivers seat or in the passengers seat of your life? Are you a person who causes things to happen in their life or are you the person who is at effect of things happening to them? Being at cause is being in the drivers seat, the buck stops with me. You are creating what you want in your life and you take responsibility for what is working, what isn’t, what you have achieved and what you haven't. You realise you have choices in what you do, in how you react to people and events. Being at cause means you are taking ownership of your feelings and the results you are getting in your relationships, health, finances, career.

Being at effect is being in the passengers seat – you may blame others or circumstances for your bad moods, for what you haven't achieved or even for your life in general. You may feel powerless or depend on others so that you feel good about yourself or about life. People at effect will be able to tell you why they are not successful – it was my ex wife, my parents, I didn’t get the breaks I deserved, the market, the school, my boss, my business partner, I can't do it because I am the wrong race, color, religion, I don’t have the education, too old too young, and all the reasons that people have. Whilst these stories may be true, is living at this level, within those limits going to get you what you want? Whatever you tell yourself about why you can't, that’s your story, you get to stay in your comfort zone. Question is, which side is more empowering? Does believing its true allow you to have the quality of life you want? Does believing its true allow the real you to shine through?

The difference between people who have achieved success and everyone else is that successful people create their lives actively, with volition, while everyone else is created by their lives, passively waiting to see where life takes them next , wishing waiting and hoping that things will work out the way they hoped it would. What do I mean about getting to work on your life? Its living out the vision of your future in the present. Compare what you've done with what you intend to do and where there is a gap between the two, make up the difference with new tools, knowledge, self development strategies.

I invite you to give up defending your limitations.The more you defend the less you’ll know. Learn to be the best you can be. This isn’t about blame, its about knowing that if it isn’t going the way you want it, you always have a way of turning it around, - Responsibilty – the ability to respond.

4 - TAKE CONSISTENT ACTION

There is simply no other way in terms of producing the results you want in your life. These techniques absolutely have value in the moment you choose to apply them. The best ideas and laid out plans will only continue to be thoughts swimming around in your head unless you take action. Turn off the TV and go to work on the most important asset you have – YOU.

The smartest people in the world will never get known if they simply sit or wait or wish or hope for things to be different, they simply must get up and they must start applying these great ideas. To create success, you've got to take action, it doesn't have to be massive, mind boggling action, it can be about setting yourself the tiniest steps, little steps that will make the difference every single day, because I believe its what you do consistently, with focus, determination and tenacity that will get you there in the end.

'Winners take time to relish their work, knowing that scaling the mountain is what makes the view from the top so exhilarating' - Denis Waitley