Divorce in Australia is a fact of life with one in three marriages breaking up. The people going through the divorce can be surrounded by well intentioned friends and family who will listen and be there emotionally.

Divorce can also be an extremely busy time organising all the practical matters that need to be sorted through so that both parties can move ahead. This side of divorce can also be difficult as homes are sold and new ways of living are structured.

Whilst in a marriage certain jobs may fall to one or the other partner. When people find themselves single for the first time in, maybe, many years, the time it takes to complete allotted jobs can seem daunting. Having a written time-factored plan to work through adds structure and a little balance to an otherwise fraught period.

Wishing for the outcome to be a certain way is time wasting and impractical. Looking at the situation with a realistic mindset lends itself to moving forward faster and with less emotional stress.

The harsh reality is that in divorce life changes. Homes do need to be sold, new homes need to found, packing and sorting must be done, new homes have to be set up, utilities need to be sorted into new names and often new white and brown goods need to bought.

Start with making a list of all the possible jobs that need to be done to organise a new life. It may be a very long list and the sooner it is started the less disenchanting the process will be.

If houses have been lived in for many years there is usually a plethora of mess behind cupboard doors. Separating belongings can be a very sad experience especially for the spouse that did not want the marriage to end. Sorting and cleaning out old and unwanted items is a great way to clear the mind and build self confidence as only taking control can bring.

Getting a house ready for sale is a very big job. To get maximum return on the investment the house must be shown at its best. Houses should be shown uncluttered, clean (this includes walls), gardens presentable, and welcoming. Always remember the prospective buyer is thinking ‘would I be happy here’. There are companies that specialise in this function and are well worth there fee.

Finding a new home is another time consuming job. Get to know the market sooner than later, start to read the realty papers to know exactly the information necessary to find the right home.

Packing a house ready for moving can be started a long time before the actual move. Start with all the clutter that is unnecessary for the sale of the house. A good way to pack a house is to allot one or two boxes per day, for the weeks leading up to the move. This is not difficult to do and will cause a panic toward moving day. There are also many moving companies that provide packing and unpacking services.

The new home may not be as big or as glamorous as the home vacated, often for one spouse it is substantially smaller. This does not mean the new place can not be a happy home. To make a home it takes time and care. It is important to have an environment that lends itself to moving forward and a welcoming place to live is critical. Often separating belongings mean there is a shortfall of basic household tools and furniture in one or both homes, work to acquire all the necessary items that a home needs to function easily. If time is an issue there are decorators, stylists and personal services that can help.

If children are involved always remember their needs as they also have had their lives altered and need attention while adjusting to new circumstances. Even when room is limited try to make a special space for each child. Children like structure in their lives so stick to routines, cook and eat together, go for walks and talk to children about their issues, try not to burden them with yours.

A short fall in experience often comes with finances as one partner has taken care of this and now the other finds they are with little or no experience in such an important area. Becoming a little computer savvy can be a great help. Get lessons if needed. There are people at banks who will instruct on how to pay bills online. Accountants and financial experts to help with financial decisions, do not hand over your money without fully understanding the in’s and out’s of what is going to happen to it and what the guaranteed returns are going to be.

If needed find a gym or other fitness regime to maintain optimal health. Eat properly even when cooking for one. Always dress as well as possible, this builds confidence. There are clothing and personal co-ordinators to help with wardrobes and make overs.