'If love comes and goes so easily It is not love we're dealing with.'

Relationship with ourselves, our partner's, family, friends and community present ongoing joy and challenges. At best, relationships are fulfilling, fun, deep, intimate and full of learning and bring happiness and benefit to ourselves and others. They can also bring conflict, hatred, anger, misuse of power, revenge and jealousy.

Process Oriented Psychology or Process Work was developed in the last 25 years, by Dr. Arnold Mindell, a physicist and Jungian analyst. He and Dr. Amy Mindell and colleagues combine Jungian psychology, spirituality, modern physics and social activism…

Gestalt Therapy - Gestalt therapy, developed by Perls in the 1950’s, focuses on the power of holistic thinking, that is looks at main concepts, thoughts, feelings, rather than being too specific and pedantic - who said what etc. – which often leads to arguments, point scoring, and unhappiness. Gestalt philosophy suggests that the “Whole is greater than the sum of its parts.” The two main therapeutic components are Here and Now (existentialism) and Unfinished Business.

Here and Now – The past no longer exists and the future is yet to exist. Therefore reality is found in the Here and…

Divorce is a terribly stressful time for everyone involved, including the children of the marriage; the decision to divorce is not theirs and the reasons are often beyond their tender years.

Just as the two people directly involved in the divorce have to make big changes in their lives so usually do the children, such as, an absent parent, shared parenting, moving from the family home and moving between two new homes and changes in financial circumstances. There is a myriad of change that accompanies divorce and our children are capable - often more capable than adults - of…

Looking at a separation as a positive experience maybe not possible while you are going through it as it is a very turbulent time for many people. Life as you know it has ceased and a new unknown lies ahead.

You may not know where to start and be unsure of the legal process and afraid of what the future holds. However, it can be a powerful learning and growing experience where you find renewed joy and happiness within yourself.

Going through a separation is the perfect opportunity to look at yourself and your life and decide what you…

Conflict is inevitable in relationships but it can be so badly managed that sensitive issues become a recipe for an argument or are avoided completely. Instead you can manage conflict conversations in ways that won’t drive you apart.

Where did the love go?
“I’m sick of all the arguing. It has to stop. We just end up arguing over nothing”. This is something I hear often in my work as a relationships counsellor and mediator. Unfortunately couples often come to counselling only after they become very skilled in the art of pulling apart the threads of their relationship! This means…

Divorce is a sad and often agonising thing to go through but it can also be one of the greatest personal growth experiences of a persons life. With one in three marriages failing the need to know how to move on in a calm and optimistic way is essential.

While in a marriage it is possible to see the future without even knowing that is what we are doing. It begins with meeting the partner we think will be by our side for the rest of our lives In a marriage we can see our future, we can see a…

Divorce in Australia is a fact of life with one in three marriages breaking up. The people going through the divorce can be surrounded by well intentioned friends and family who will listen and be there emotionally.

Divorce can also be an extremely busy time organising all the practical matters that need to be sorted through so that both parties can move ahead. This side of divorce can also be difficult as homes are sold and new ways of living are structured.

Whilst in a marriage certain jobs may fall to one or the other partner. When people find…

When a relationship ends there is an important transition from partners to parents. This can be an awkward and painful process that is not always easy to manage. You will be creating a new way of relating to each other at a difficult time. Empathy and patience is needed along with a commitment to clear boundaries.

Understanding Separation
After separation you may wonder whether to accept your former partner’s invitation to coffee – if you do what would you talk about? Do you ask your partner to stay for dinner when the kids are dropped off? What about sitting together…

In difficult times the resilience of your relationship really depends on how well it has been nurtured on a day-to-day basis. Building a positive “relationship bank balance” lowers the risk of conflict flare-ups.

Loose Change and that Lovin’ Feeling
Scientists conduct strange experiments. Spare change was left in a phone booth along with a stamped letter that hadn’t been sent. Sometimes the spare change was removed. People were studied using the phone booth, those who found the money were more likely drop the letter into a nearby post box. Finding the money perked up their spirits, they felt so…

I have lost count of how many times I’ve heard those words over the years. Friends and relatives embroiled in disputes over children and the family home often followed this well meaning advice by sympathisers as the only solution to a marriage gone wrong. Huge legal bills and Court costs have sent many into unmanageable debt and eventually nervous breakdowns because there seemed to be no other way for families to resolve their separation issues. Unfortunately this mentality is still very much entrenched in our country despite recent Federal Government changes to Family Law since June 30th 2007. New legislation…