Recover - Discover - Reclaim Your Life After Loss
My name is Ellen Lawson and I coach and support women to recover, discover and reclaim their life after loss, so that they can feel peace, find their joy and feel full again.
I wrote this guide to help you begin your journey to heal the pain of your loss. After the shock of losing someone or something of great importance, you may feel lost, full of fear, sadness and uncertainty. It is my greatest wish for you to heal the pain of your loss so that you may feel more at peace, with joy and fullness in your heart, and move forward with your life. These 5 steps helped me greatly to begin healing my own pain, so from my heart to yours, commit to each step slowly, mindfully and be kind to yourself. This is a process. Loss is universal but grief is individual. You are not alone. Seek out the resource room at www.voyagecoaching.com.au for more ways to be supported in your journey.
With love and blessings, Ellen Lawson x0
Loss Recovery Guide - 5 Steps to Heal Your Pain
Step 1- Honour the Pain of Your Loss
You may have felt and heard from well-intentioned friends and family to fill your day with work, hobbies and activities and to stay strong, but this only delays your healing and numbs your pain. The pain is still there, merely temporarily buried. Leaning into and feeling the pain of your loss bring healing. You have to feel it to heal it. Leaning into your grief enables you to move through it. Imagine a wave in the ocean as it builds and then crashes onto the shore and then dissipates. The wave can feel ominous and scary just like the pain you are feeling. You may believe that wave of pain will consume you but it doesn’t. Like the wave crashing onto the shore, your pain will dissipate. That overwhelming feeling doesn’t stay with you. It WILL pass. By leaning into that wave of pain, you move through it. This is the beginning of your recovery. Give yourself permission to honour the pain of your loss. Give yourself permission to grieve. Don’t hide from it. It deserves to be felt, acknowledged and accepted. Give yourself permission to experience your feelings. It’s a release and this process is honouring yourself and what you have lost.
Step 2- Self-Care and Compassion
This step is not about day spas, long lunches with friends or Netflix binges, although these activities could certainly support you to feel better in the moment and that is a good thing. The self- care and compassion I am referring to is the mind-set, attitude and action of truly showing kindness and compassion for yourself so that you can heal the grief after your loss. This can only be achieved by focusing on the most important relationship in your life which is the relationship you have with yourself. After your loss or transition it is imperative that you nurture your inner self. To ask yourself “What do I need to give myself today?”, “What will help me to promote my healing today?” Write these questions down somewhere as a daily reminder. By asking these questions on a daily basis you will connect to your inner self and give yourself the love and compassion that you truly need right now to help heal your pain. This is a fluid process and your experience and needs are truly individual. You can heal yourself from the inside out and learn to be your own best friend. During this time your needs will fluctuate and change, so check in with yourself on a regular basis. Take a deep breath. How do you feel in your body? Discover what you need from yourself right now. Take loving action.
Step 3- Loving Mindfulness Practices
Imagine being able to experience complete physical, emotional and spiritual wellness and peace whilst going through your loss recovery process. This is possible with loving mindfulness practices. These practices can support you to calm your mind, body and spirit in times of grief and stress. You can develop the ability to ground yourself in the present moment, allowing yourself to feel your body and your surroundings by engaging all your senses in the now. Practicing mindfulness calms your nervous system and helps you feel safe. It takes you out of the angst, sadness and pain and brings you fully into the present. There are various types of loving mindfulness practices for you to explore and experience. Take some time to discover the ones that most resonate with you. These practices will help to support you through your grief and towards recovery from your loss. They can be used daily whenever you feel overwhelmed to bring you back to this present moment, where you are safe and well and loved. I have listed some loving mindfulness practices for you to discover and try for yourself. You may find out that sometimes it is the simplest of things that can help us find that relief and support to recover from the pain of loss. Ask yourself; “What can I give myself today that will help me feel more at peace and in this moment?”
Step 4- Gratitude Heals
Gratitude helps to heal grief and moves you forward with the loss recovery process. Gratitude bridges the past, present and future. It allows you to take what is positive from the past in the present moment and delivers the future as you begin to move forward in the loss recovery process with more hope and optimism.
By counting your blessings daily and acknowledging what you are grateful and thankful for in this present moment, you begin to realise that pain and suffering cannot reside in this space.
Gratitude closes the gap between pain and peace and between grief and joy. What are you grateful for today? Write it down, say it out loud. Gratitude is also a form of acceptance. It gives us permission to embrace our pain and the loss. When you explore and acknowledge your blessings and what you are thankful for, it supports you to let go of the pain and take it to its completion.
Step 5- Seek Out Support
We all have a story. One that deserves to heard and to be owned. You start to heal the moment you feel heard. When you feel heard in a judgement-free environment you begin to feel safe, free to explore your feelings and begin to heal the pain of your loss There are many forms of support that you may seek out that resonate best for your needs. It may be chosen trusted friends or mentors who are committed to what you want and will genuinely support what is best for you. It could be support groups specialising in grief and loss. Coaching and other person-centered modalities can also help support you. Coaching places you in charge of the content you wish to speak about during each session. You are given the space to choose and explore options that are best for you, while the coach directs the process which supports your healing and growth. These modalities will support you to take small action steps towards your healing and what you truly want for yourself. Your coach will champion you to get to your ever-evolving chosen destinations. Imagine putting your needs first and giving yourself priority, permission and self -love to take this time for you to heal your loss. To begin to live again with purpose and meaning with peace, joy and fullness in your heart. You are worthy of this time for yourself and deserve all of it and so much more. I implore you to seek out support. You are not an island unto yourself and you need to feel seen, heard and supported so you may take the pain of your loss and bring it to its completion.